Princess Alethea Kontis

Because We’re Insane

2009-12-19T20:18:54Z

Eddie and I are in the Barnes & Noble at the Avenue. The weekend before Xmas. We came for the Starbucks & wifi. I’m going to download this Memorex Label Design Studio and print these labels if it kills me. (It just might kill me.) This would be SO freaking easy if the desktop weren’t dead. Did you know you can get a Canon color printer at Wal Mart for $30? No kidding. Cheaper than ink.

I’m sure everybody in line looked at me funny when I opened up my Jolly Roger computer bag and pulled out two laptops — an HP and a Macbook — each with their own Van Gogh schticker (HP has Starry Night & Mac has Apple Blossoms…because it’s ironic) — and proceeded to boot them both up. I’m ambicomputerous. Today, it’s coming in handy. Now I get to blog on the Mac while Eddie tries to find the Memorex software for the PC. Why is this hard to find? For that matter, why are decent CD labels so hard to find nowadays? No dice at 2 Wal Marts, K-Mart, or Target. Thank goodness for Staples. Silly Memorex.

One day I suppose I’ll get one of those printers that prints directly on to the CD. Do those things really work?

Originally published at AletheaKontis.com. You can comment here or there.

Help, I’m a Prisoner at the Auto Shop

2009-12-18T19:40:24Z

I’ve been here since 7:45 this morning. It is now 1:37. For all you math-challenged people that would be almost six hours.

Six. Whole. Hours. They should pay me for working the entire day here.

It was recommended to me on Twitter that I just start writing. So here i am, writing and hoping that it’ll be like going to the bathroom in a restaurant so the waitress will come. I’m going to keep updating this post every time I write a section, so click back to see how long it actually takes me to get out of here. Ready? Set? GO.

***********************

I came here for two simple things: to get my struts replaced and to fix the thermostat (which is the reason my Check Engine light is on). I’m about to drive 8 hours to SC before Xmas and then 10 hours back to PA after Xmas, so I was going to be a good girl and make an appointment with my favorite Auto Doctors so I would have a smooth, worry-free ride.

I brought my laptop and CD envelopes and CDs to burn — that’s right, though belated there WILL be a Happy Holidays 2009 CD. If you receive yours after Xmas, you’re just going to have to forgive me. Life has been a little insane. It’s probably more insane of me to be trying to shoehorn CD-making into everything I’ve got going on, but this is my 9th year of making it and there would be too many disappointed people — including me — for it to not happen. So it’s going to happen.

I actually took Robin McKinley’s The Blue Sword OUT OF MY BAG before leaving the house, but I did have the presence of mind to take the apple I stole from the bowl yesterday afternoon in Awesome Kitchen.

See? I can be smart sometimes.

***********************

I originally had plans for lunch. I was going to have sushi with some of the girls from the office. Only I got an out of office message from the one I emailed this morning — a couple of texts and a few messages later I discovered that Tracy was incredibly sick, Lillie was at the doctor’s too, Shannan’s departmental potluck had been rescheduled for today, and lunch was rescheduled to Monday.

Which ended up being a good thing BECAUSE I’M STILL HERE. See? Everything does happen for a reason.

***********************

So the struts that we ordered, after checking the production date on the car and everything, didn’t fit. This was about 2 or 3 hours into the visit. They did make another size strut for the Volvo wagon that year, but no dice trying to get one here by Monday. Shortly after it was discovered that the thermostat bolt had been stripped. Easy enough — pop across the street to the Auto Parts store and get one. Only…they don’t have one.

Kenny from the front office actually drove to the Hardware Store to get some bolts to try. He and another guy both offered to pick me up something to eat. (Luckily, I found some peanuts in my bag from last night — thank you, Southwest.) I thanked them both but declined, asking them to please just PUT MY CAR BACK TOGETHER.

This is my last weekend in TN for a while. I’ve been planning exactly what I want to eat and from where before I go. This afternoon was going to be Newk’s Deli. Tonight, Eddie and I are getting take-out from Taste of China. Tomorrow might be a stop by the Noodle House or Slick Pig. Either way, it’s definitely our bagel place for breakfast.

In none of these scenarios was McDonald’s ever an option. I’d rather starve. So I am. Kenny got back about 20 minutes ago. He seems to think one of the bolts he found would work. My fingers would be crossed if they weren’t too busy typing for warmth. (Did I mention it was cold in here?)

***********************

I finished signing all the CD folders and writing my website on them — I plan on posting the playlist online so everyone can check it out. Only I don’t like giving the songs away too soon — part of the present is the surprise of wondering which crazy song the princess is going to add next. I’ll hand off a box to the girls Monday at lunch, and probably post the songs and artists…how about Christmas! That would be a good Christmas present. Cool. I could even start writing that post NOW. Except I’m too busy writing this one.

***********************

Sweet!! Kenny just got an email. He can have official honest-to-god bona fide Volvo struts here by 1:30 on Monday. I would happily stay in TN another full day if it means I can get this all fixed up. It also means that I can go to lunch with the girls and then just come back here straight after. HOORAY! See? The universe does provide. It’s all a little bit of good magic.

Shame I’m not a more patient individual. Then again, I think 6.5 hours is pretty darned patient…

***********************

Christmas is going to be awesome, btw, and not just because it’s the second time in 17 years that I’ve had more than one day off for the holiday. (That’s a big factor, though.) If you happen to be in Charleston SC on Christmas Eve, we’ll be partying all day at Dixie Dunbar Studio with champagne and wassail and all sorts of other goodies until close. 192 King Street, Charleston SC. Bookmark it into your iPhone and come on by!

(And yes, if you bring copies of AlphaOops or the Dark-Hunter Companion or Beauty & Dynamite or anything else I would be happy to sign them. I don’t have a huge stash of my own to sell you, though, so think about picking some up before you come! If you order now on Amazon you could have them by the 24th using Standard Shipping…or ship them straight to the studio with a note including your name on it so we know to hold them!)

***********************

A guy just came in and started telling me about how his buddy had promised him all kinds of favors and then never fixed his car. It’s okay because he has a ride home for Christmas, and it’s been nice saving money while it’s been out of commission, but it’s nice to have a car, you know? Oh, and the dog winked at him.

Did I mention Murfreesboro was a college town?

We’re easing up on hour seven. How long does it take to replace a bolt? Scratch that. I don’t actually want to know. But if they want to lend me that classic black Impala just inside the door, I’d be happy to vacate their lobby and go run my errands. I need to stop by Wal-Mart and pick up better CD labels because the ones I got are crap. And I need another printer, because I killed my desktop before I left and the printer I have, though wonderful, is too old to connect with a USB cable.

***********************

HOLY CRAPINOLI, THE BOLTS WORK. *sob* When I come back on Monday I’m bringing CDs and cookies and hot chocolate. And one of the books I need to be reviewing for my next IGMS column. And a cushion for my tushie.

***********************

And you know what? I’m still going to Newk’s for lunch. And when Eddie gets here we’re still having Chinese. I can always skip the bagel place and have leftovers for breakfast.

Originally published at AletheaKontis.com. Please leave any comments there.

AlphaOops: H is for Halloween is a Junior Library Guild Selection!

2009-12-17T17:52:56Z

SWEET.

Originally published at AletheaKontis.com. You can comment here or there.

What Happens When Geeks Are Given Glitter Pens

2009-12-17T11:13:38Z

That’s right, baby. A TARDIS stocking.

And yes. It’s bigger on the inside.

Dear Santa, I would like the 10th Doctor for Christmas. Thanks!

Originally published at AletheaKontis.com. You can comment here or there.

Apex Magazine Story of the Year Award

2009-12-17T00:54:09Z

Apex needs your votes!

Click on over to the first annual Apex Magazine Story of the Year Award and cast your ballot. Yes, for those curious persons, I do have a story on the ballot – “Poor Man’s Roses”, which appeared in October.

Voting starts tonight and will continue through January 30th. The story receiving the most votes will be announced on February 1st. The author of the Apex Magazine Story of the Year will receive a trophy and the unique distinction of being the best Apex had to offer during 2009.

…and we thank you for your support.

Originally published at AletheaKontis.com. You can comment here or there.

Awesome Porch December Party Pics

2009-12-15T03:44:36Z

Just start here and go forward. Or check them out on Facebook, sans captions. (Thanks to Lilwenchi et al for the tagging help!)

Sunset over the Alien Lesbian Cow Park

Originally published at AletheaKontis.com. You can comment here or there.

The Clockwork Jungle Book

2009-12-11T14:40:13Z

I’m honored to be part of the newest issue of Shimmer magazine: The Clockwork Jungle Book. Inside are twenty fabulous steampunk fables by some of the hottest names in SF:

Shedding Skin; Or How the World Came to Be, by Jay Lake
The Jackdaw’s Wife, by Blake Hutchins
The Student and the Rats, by Jess Nevins
The Mechanical Aviary of Emperor Jalal-ud-din Muhammad Akbar, by Shweta Narayan
Kay’s Box, by Marissa Lingen
Otto’s Elephant, by Vince Pendergast
The Monkey and the Butterfly, by Susannah Mandel
Message in a Bottle, by James Maxey
The Clockwork Cat’s Escape, by Gwynne Garfinkle
The Wolf and the Schoolmaster, by James L. Cambias
A Garden in Bloom, by Genevieve Valentine
And How His Audit Stands, by Lou Anders
The Story In Which Dog Dies, by Sara Genge
A Red One Cannot See, by Barbara A. Barnett
The Fishbowl, by Amal El-Mohtar
His Majesty’s Menagerie, by Chris Roberson
The Emperor’s Gift, by Rajan Khanna
The Clockwork Goat and the Smokestack Magi, by Peter M. Ball
The Giant and the Unicorn, by Alethea Kontis
Mockmouse, by Caleb Wilson

An excerpt from “The Giant & The Unicorn”:

In the beginning, the Toymaker fashioned the Box. In the second year, he scattered his power throughout the Box and made the heaves and the stars. In the third year he cast the cogs and wheels, the grasses and the trees. In the fourth year he formed the animals: the bear, the fox, the dragon, the griffin, the monkey, and the unicorn. In the fifth year he forged the Giant, in his own image, so that the Giant might rule and maintain peace over this great land. In the sixth year he uploaded Sentience and Symbiotics; he breathed life into his creations and set them free. He looked down upon his work and knew it was good.

In the seventh year, spent from his task, the Toymaker lay down and died…

Purchase your copy of The Clockwork Jungle Book in hard or electronic copy at the Shimmer website.

Also check out the fun interview I did with Anne for the issue! Find out which dead authors I would love to talk to, what authors I wish I could write like, things I wish for my characters, some writerly advice, and a whole section about things I do that no one ever asks about.

And soon there will be an audio version of the story available, read & acted by yours truly (I had SO MUCH FUN), so watch this space for more info!

Originally published at AletheaKontis.com. You can comment here or there.

Southern Wedding

2009-12-10T22:45:03Z

Once upon a time there were Three Musketeers who grew up: Me, Casey & Margo. Each of us had a little sister: Soteria (Sami), Darra Dane (Dee or Brat) and Alison (only one “l”).

Last month, The Brat got married at the Lace House on the Governor’s Mansion grounds in Columbia, South Carolina. It was a perfect, gorgeous, sunny day, and a beautiful wedding. Our little Dee’s not so much a Brat anymore. But she’s still ours.

Click the picture to see the full album.

Originally published at AletheaKontis.com. You can comment here or there.

Midnight Snowpics

2009-12-10T01:55:52Z

Last night, a few minutes after 11:00pm, I shut my laptop, stood up from the kitchen table, and announced that I was going to bed. In response, Murphy blew a transformer and the neighborhood went black.

Bob stood up from our little computer huddle and realized that in the hour since we’d gone workaholic, there was a solid inch of snow outside and it was still falling.

There was no bed after that. I ran straight out into the street and wrote my name in four-foot tall letters down the road. Bob got me some real gloves — proper ones with fingers. And fur. And then I made snowmen. I can’t actually remember the last time I made a real snowman. With real snow. So I made two. ‘Cause I can’t have a Dickie without a Tomo. And they can’t not have the ingredients for squirrel fixins.

Pics are in the latest Picasa album: click the snow-covered Princess to see them!

Midnight Snowprincess!

Originally published at AletheaKontis.com. You can comment here or there.

Princess Alethea’s Magical Elixir

2009-12-09T18:41:58Z

Do you think she looks like me?

Princess Alethea’s new book reviews are now up at Orson Scott Card’s Intergalactic Medicine Show. This month I discuss:

Title: Quatrain
Author: Sharon Shinn
EAN: 9780441017584

My friend Gayle held this book tight to her chest on the day she gave it to me. “I know you really like Sharon Shinn,” she said, “but I have to say, it’s a bit creepy how much you look like this girl on the cover.” Beyond the cover, however, four goodies lay in store like a Whitman’s chocolate sampler for any fan of Sharon Shinn…

Title: Catching Fire
Author: Suzanne Collins
EAN: 9780439023498

I got Hunger Games and Catching Fire at the same time. I polished off Hunger Games – the first novel of Collins’ trilogy — in one sitting. I allowed myself to stay up until 3 a.m. on a school night just to get to the end. I waited almost a whole week before starting Catching Fire, and I forced myself to read only one part at a time (there are three parts) to space it out a bit (and so I wouldn’t yawn all the way through work the next day). As folks who follow me on Twitter will attest, I finished it right around 3 a.m. as well on that third day…

Originally published at AletheaKontis.com. You can comment here or there.

Growing Up Poe

2009-11-23T03:25:56Z

Edgar Allan Poe would be celebrating his 200th birthday this year. He cast an epic shadow across American fiction; he inspired every last horror writer who came after him; and his fans founded Weird Tales magazine.

Weird Tales wondered if Poe still has the same impact today — so in their latest issue, they asked a bevy of dark fantasists (including Cherie Priest, whose essay is already published online) how much the Grandpa of the Gothic loomed in their tender years. The answer: a whole freakin’ lot.

Here’s what geek princess Alethea Kontis has to say about it. Click here to read "Teen Angel, Dark."

Yes, Poe really was my emo high school boyfriend. And yes. I'm still reeling a bit from the fact that I have officially been published in Weird Tales. Weird Tales. THE Weird Tales. Yeah. Me.

Sweet.

"The Monster & Mrs. Blake" now live at The Story Station

2009-11-10T00:15:35Z

Drop on by The Story Station and check out one of my very favorite short stories -- "The Monster & Mrs. Blake."

I was one of those kids with monsters under her bed (they looked a lot like the little guys in Critters), so I empathize with Jeremy. I also wrote it while my best friend Casey was pregnant with her first child and craving apples for no apparent reason...

This was meant to be read aloud, so if you have the time -- and the children-- I encourage you to do so. And please...let me know what they think!

And yes, the rumors are true -- this story has been optioned by Bamfer Productions. I get to see a screenplay soon. Saying I'm a little excited about it is like saying there's a little sand on the beach.

Enjoy!

Call for Pannell Award Nominees

2009-11-04T12:21:56Z

Spread the word!!

The Women's National Book Association wants to know about bookstores in the United States that excel at inspiring interest in reading, as well as creatively bringing books and young people together. They will present the annual WNBA Pannell Award to two bookstores--one a general bookstore and one a children's speciality bookstore--at the 2010 BookExpo America. Each recipient will receive a check for $1,000 and a framed piece of original art by a noted children's book illustrator. Nominated stores have the option of making their submissions to the Pannell jury electronically or by sending hard copy materials by mail.

To nominate your favorite bookstore (even your own!) that works within the community to instill the love of reading in young people, please provide the following:

1) Name of store

2) Address and phone number of the store

3) Contact person at the store, including email address (most important!)

4) A brief reason (just a sentence or two) of why you believe the store is deserving of this award

5) Your name and affiliation to the nominated store.

Please send your nomination to mgjames@eastwestliteraryagency.com. Deadline for nominations is Jan. 15, 2010.

The Pannell Award was established in 1981 by WNBA, a century-old national organization of women and men who work to promote reading and to support the role of women in the book community.

Feliz Dia de los Muertos!

2009-11-02T18:12:01Z

His bones hit the stones with a crack as the guard shoved him to his knees. They weren't normal playing cards; they all had strange metric road signs on them. And they spoke French.

"Brian Keene," said a terrible voice. A familiar voice.

The burlap sack was ripped from his head. On the throne before him sat the most beautiful woman in the world. Her blood-chestnut hair fell in a shimmering cascade below her generous breasts. Her short red skirt revealed several miles of leg encased in several miles of black-and-white striped tights. The ruby platform slippers matched her dress, the four-inch heels of which he knew masked the blood of men's hearts exceptionally well. Her glistening diamond tiara reflected the bright sunlight and scattered rainbows around her, complimenting the fire in her eyes and the glittery flames that decorated her face, surrounding them. Her crimson lips parted in a gorgeous smile he couldn't help but reciprocate, and he damned himself for his lack of willpower at her feet. Those perfect teeth had fed on many a meager soul before his own, and they would feed on many more when his time on Earth was finished. Which he imagined would be about five minutes from now, give or take.

She was the Good Fairy who had given him life. She was the Muse who'd ruined it when he'd asked her to. And now she was the Reaper, here to claim what was rightfully hers.

Five minutes or no, Keene decided to spend the rest of his life being true to himself. "You remind me of a princess I know," he said without being spoken to.

"I get that a lot," she said, sotto voce, and then, "My little Bunny Foo Foo. Whatever am I going to do with you?"

Keene winced. He hated when she called him that. He also hated rhetorical questions.

"Off I sent you, skipping along through the forest, with one warning. Do you remember what that was?"

"Something about field mice?" he asked.

The right shoe shot out and kicked him square in the jaw, the rubies on the toes scraping deep into the skin of his cheek. With his hands bound behind him he couldn't assess the damage, but he could already feel the wetness, taste the blood. As suspected, her shoe still looked perfect, unmarred, and hotter than hell. "I said, 'NO MORE ZOMBIES.'"

"Is that what it was? I'm so bad with French." Expecting the shoe this time, he managed to peek up her skirt before his face hit the stones. Skull panties. The guards propped him back up on his knees.

"I should turn you into a goon," she said.

Keene spat out a mouthful of blood; it shaped itself into a heart on the stones at her feet. "I believe that is the established method."

"And yet, my dearest bunnykins, something about you compels me to go old school." She rapped her emerald scepter three times and bellowed, "OFF WITH HIS HEAD!"

It all happened with a quickness that commanded respect. A playing card obliged and bent himself in half like a table so that Keene's head could be pushed down upon him. He saw the giant shadow of the executioner behind him and had not even the time to wince as the sharp blade bit into his neck, snicker snack. Ninety seconds, he knew. Ninety seconds before he lost consciousness forever. Forever. She smelled like forever.

His head rolled in the pool of blood at her feet and he looked up at her, his new vantage point affording him quite the view, and with his last breath he did the one thing he knew she'd hate, the one thing that grated her nerves more than anything ever had. He'd miss that damn cat.

"Why are you smiling?" she asked Keene's head. "WHY ARE YOU SMILING?!?"

He loved that it was a question she'd never have the answer to. As it happened, he did know a princess, one who had placed his name in a bag with salt and herbs and planted it at the base of her ivory tower by the light of the full moon. She knew a thing or two about magic. And he knew a thing or two about zombies.

He thought about that princess in his last 140 characters before the world went black. Now if only all her father's horses and all her father's men hurried up and got to him before he bled out completely he'd be home in time f--

********************************************************

Today is Brian Keene Must Die day. Brian will be killed in dozens of horrifying ways in blogs across the blogosphere for a very good cause. If you enjoyed this humorous little vignette, please consider making a donation to the Shirley Jackson Awards.

Genre Chicks: Sarah Pinborough

2009-10-29T20:34:25Z

Sarah Pinborough, the British Grace Kelly of the horror genre, is riding high--having just won a British Fantasy Award for her short story “Do You See”--and in a few weeks she is up for the World Fantasy Award for her short “Our Man in the Sudan.” Anyone who follows her on Twitter knows that she’s a jet-setting wine connoisseur who’s not afraid of getting down and dirty and telling it like it is.

Sarah is completely adorable...and can scare the ever-living daylights out of you. I sent a “little birdy” Sarah’s way with a few fun questions about her life recently, and this is what came back.

Read our interview here.

HCH on Fictionwise

2009-10-28T00:22:34Z

For those savvy tech people, Harlan County Horros is now available on Fictionwise. And they're having a big sale on horror right now, so it's only like three bucks. What are you waiting for? Go for it.

What better way to get in the mood for Halloween?

Lora Innes Interview @ Fantasy Magazine

2009-10-16T14:24:36Z

I got a copy of THE DREAMER graphic novel from IDW and immediately fell in love (Click on the banner above -- you can check it all out online!). So much so that I contacted Lora Innes -- the comic's dynamic and fabulously talented writer/illustrator -- to see if I could do an interview with her. She said yes.

And then Cat over at Fantasy Magazine mentioned that she'd like to be the one to run it. So I said yes.
We're all such a bunch of affable people.
Hey -- wanna read it?
(You don't even have to say "yes." Just click right here.)

Happy Friday!

Happy Anniversary, Soteria & Charles!

2009-10-14T14:58:08Z

Soteria & Charles have been married two years today -- hooray!

The rest of us remember what was one of the coolest weddings in history -- held at the Charleston Aquarium, my father officiating, Soteria walking down the steps in her customized designer gown to a string-version of The Pixies' "Where is My Mind?", my nephew cracking us all up during the "speak now or forever hold your peace", Monica's amazing flower arrangements complete with fish in the vases, and the dancing. All the wonderful dancing. Including this one. Remember this?

The song is "Burning Down the House" -- the demo tape got yanked off YouTube, but the tutorial is still there:

And here is a clip from the actual dance being performed at the wedding, complete with some of us jokers wearing masks like the tutorial taught us:

The best part, though, was never captured on video -- like most truly best moments are. But those of us who were there remember someone handing the wedding soundtrack to the bartender at the after party, and someone else pushing the tables aside so we could all jump up and do an impromptu recreation of the dance right then and there.

Because all the best people's lives include impromptu musical numbers.

Happy anniversary, Soteria & Charles. Here's to many more awesome years. xox

(Want to wish them happiness yourself? Stop by the Dixie Dunbar Facebook page and send your love!)

The Fairest of Them All

2009-10-12T20:36:57Z

Dude...of course I'm totally talking about me. Yeah. That goober there in the picture with the chibi eyes and the face of a Muppet. The one and only Alethea Madeleine Kontis, a.k.a Princess Alethea. Moi.

Yes, Alethea is my real, mom-and-dad given name. The Princess title was inevitable...like a freight train down the track, it was simply a long time coming. Contrary to popular belief, I never wanted to be a princess growing up. I wanted to be an actress and a writer...both of whom were free to dress like a gypsy and run around the yard speaking in a British accent.

Mostly I blame my current Princesshood on Jill Conner Browne who, during a visit to Ingram in March of 2007, bestowed upon me a Big Ass Tiara and proclaimed me Princess of Ingram. When I signed up for LJ they told me I couldn't use my own name as someone had already syndicated it, so I had to come up with something else. BAM. At my best friend Devin's wedding a year later, I made up nametags for Devin's sister, my sister, and myself, declaring that we were Princess Megan, Princess Soteria, and Princess Alethea. I left it stuck on my laptop for a very long time. When I was asked to come up with a title for my review column at Orson Scott Card's Intergalactic Medicine Show, what name could have been better than Princess Alethea's Magical Elixir? Similarly, when the sideshow idea for Dragon*Con sprang to life like Athena from my cranium...well, you see where this insanity has led.

Type in www.princessalethea.com. Yeah, I went there. Figured if I was gonna do it, I was gonna own it. I took physics -- that freight train has a lot more inertia than I do, and it would be futile to stop it. A lot less fun, too.

Ultimately, I've found it's easier for people to call me "Princess" than remember how to pronounce Uh-LEE-thee-uh, and I'm totally okay with that. If we only see each other at the odd convention, you really shouldn't have to work that hard. We're there to have fun, not embarrass each other.

Now, according to my magic mirror (which I sometimes refer to as "Google Alert"), there are two other Princess Aletheas on these here intarwebs. One is a Princess in the SCA (Alethea Eastriding, Crown Princess and one-time Queen of the East), and the other is a fan fiction writer. I should not be confused with either of these women -- who I'm sure are very much fabulous in their own special ways.

But let's be clear -- like it says up there at the top -- all the ways about here belong to me.

2009 Southern Festival of Books (with pics)

2009-10-12T13:08:40Z

The Young, Fanged, & Undead panel -- David MacInnis Gill, Daniel Waters, Melissa de la Cruz, and me. We had a TON of fun. I love making new friends (barring David, whom I've known like forever). There are a few more pics here.

BFFs: The Soul-Seller, the Necromancer, the Vampiress, and the Princess

Been feeling a bit like this lately

2009-10-11T02:24:39Z

..like a rainbow caught in a storm.

Also, I'm in the thick of novel revisions/rewrites. Your regularly scheduled blog will return...um...yeah. And it's not like I'm not constantly on Twitter or anything. I'm still alive and kicking. And beautiful. And caught in a storm...

IGMS: New Princess Alethea Reviews

2009-10-06T18:37:44Z

The new Princess Alethea's Magical Elixir reviews are up over at Orson Scott Card's Intergalactic Medicine Show! This month I discuss:

Title: Rogue Angel: Destiny (audiobook)
Author: Alex Archer
Publisher: GraphicAudio
EAN: 9781599502052

Title: Bad Moon Rising
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
EAN: 9780312369491

Title: Ophelia Joins the Group Maidens Who Don't Float: Classic Lit Signs on to Facebook
Author: Sarah Schmelling
Publisher: Plume
EAN: 9780452295735

(If you happen to see that last one in the bookstore, pick it up and have a giggle.)

"A Poor Man's Roses" now up at Apex

2009-10-06T09:42:52Z

Excerpt:

At first, she sang to remember. It was a way to pass the long, dark time, a way to drown out the buzz in her head when the earth shook and the bunker rattled, a way to live outside the bars of her cage, to be a woman who smoked and drank, flirted and pined, flipped her pin curls and married a man for his car. Eventually, Patsy Cline became Kerri’s reason for living. In five years, she hadn’t found a better one.

“Good morning,” said Stella. It was the only clue Kerri ever had to the time of day, or the notion that days passed at all. Stella opened the cage hatch and slid the food through. “I have a surprise for you today.” She smiled. “You’ll like it.”

Let’s see…what would she like? Kerri would have welcomed a hot poker in the eye, an asteroid hitting the earth, or the blast from that damned super volcano the world had been holding its collective breath about for the past decade. It would be ironic, Kerri mused, if all three suddenly happened at once. About as ironic as someone surviving cancer just to live out the rest of her days in a prison.

Read the rest of "A Poor Man's Roses" over at Apex Magazine. Or just make me look popular and click on the link.

Fiction Sale -- "Diary of a Ghost's Mistress" to Shroud

2009-10-01T20:23:01Z

When it rains it pours, and I've got my umbrella flipped upside-down to catch it all!

On the heels of Horrorfind comes this sale to the awesome Michael Knost at Shroud Magazine. Look for it in the very next issue!

This story is based on the legend of Beilstein castle in Germany (pictured right).

Excerpt:

April 12, 1946

You left me here, you bastard. Left me in this picturesque burg on a riverbend strewn with wretched Nazi refuse, left me weeping in this tower--the only part of this rotting castle that's still in one piece. Godforsaken, as Mama would say. This country, this town, this pile of crumbling rocks, me. I miss Mama. I hear her sometimes, in the back of my head. Sit up straight. Don't overcook the chicken. Chew your food. Smell the roses. Smile into the sunshine.

I hear you too. Telling me to be strong; telling me I'm going to be all right; telling me I'm your princess. I wake up to your voice every morning, whispering "Maddie" in my ear, and every morning I open my eyes to nothing. I know I'm depressed, and I understand that you're never coming back, but I want you to be there in that second--just for a second--so I can yell at you.

Hey!

2009-10-01T14:16:59Z

Happy October! I have a book out today!
You should go buy a copy.

Table of Contents:

“The Witch of Black Mountain” – Alethea Kontis
“The Power of Moonlight” – Debbie Kuhn
“Hiding Mountain: Our Future in Apples” – Earl Dean
“Psychomachia” – Geoffrey Girard
“Yellow Warbler” – Jason Sizemore
“Kingdom Come” – Jeremy C. Shipp
“Trouble Among the Yearlings” – Maurice Broaddus
“Spirit Fire” – Robby Sparks
“The Thing at the Side of the Road” – Ronald Kelly
“Inheritance” – Stephanie Lenz
“Greater of Two Evils” – Steven Shrewsbury
“Harlan Moon” – TL Trevaskis